Reason To Not Have Children #1: “Nobody’s Perfect”

I imagine every father these days walks in on their children in their room and catches them – not flogging the jetsam – but singing to Disney Pop. I don’t know how I would handle it upon seeing my offspring partaking in this act: either intense weeping or intense joy.

Name a song. Any song. Chances are some little dickens has danced to it and posted it on youtube. Youtube is the new Solid Gold, except with a thousand times the content and 1/100th of the shame.

I’m thankful I was a few years early and missed this trend. I lived a normal childhood: all my public shames were witnessed by whoever was around at the time, not the entirety of the interwebs. No one saw me get stuck in the playtubes at Discovery Cheese but my birthday guests and a hundred other kids in the South Bend area.

EDIT: doglover199709 has disabled video embedding, but you’re welcome to check out the video still on youtube here.