These are exercises from a writing group called Write Drunk, Edit Sober. Just exercising brain muscles. Please don’t take these too seriously. Not my most polished work. This week’s prompt: “A story that ends abruptly at the Climax…”
I keep thinking about Pee-Wee Baseball. How boring it was in the outfield, waiting for something to happen while the pitcher got all the glory. There are spots in that grass that will never grow back; I spent too much time pulling up blades for anything to come out of that Earth. Nature knows not to try there. Often I’d look forward to a rain shower; stopper of all boring baseball activities, doorway into an afternoon of playing videogames. Thank you, Native American Rain God.
Rain like cold showers, snapping you awake. The worst and best thing for you on a groggy morning. In those minutes, as the water hits your skin like a thousand tiny knives, there’s nothing else you can think about. The one time I didn’t mind cold water was when Tiffany- I mean, Deb- and I got caught outside without an umbrella when I was trying to be “spontaneous” for her. When she leaned in at that random traffic crossing…Tiffany. No. Not what I need.
Um, what else? That dead carcass I saw in my backyard when I was a kid. I don’t know why a fox would die that far away from the treeline. Maybe he knew it was coming and wanted to be near the warmth of our house. Tiffany. Maybe he was just moving across Illinois and our mowed yard was an inconsequential part of his path. I couldn’t stop staring at it. Just hundreds of maggots crawling around inside of what looked like a fox fast asleep. After dad poured gasoline on it to kill them, I swore my coffin would be sealed and made of iron. That won’t happen to me, no sir. Fuck you, maggots.
Ok, this isn’t helping anymore. Maybe think about Mandy. That was sex. Tiffany. No. It wasn’t. It was me lying down and a girl I’m not attracted to just grinding all over me. Nothing about that was hot. Tiffany. She seemed to enjoy it. Good for her.
God damn it. Think faster. Father Levi’s boring lectures. All In The Family the TV series. Tiffany. No wait. No. Tiffany. Jesus. Stop. Wait, slow down, Tiffany. Stop. Tiffany. Let me readjust. Tiffany.
Sorry.
If you give me a few, I can probably try again.
Shit.
Chad Quandt
